Thoughts on His grace...
God is not surprised by my sin.
This is a lesson that is really hard to learn. I feel so guilty when I hurt someone. When I feel that I may have offended someone, or when I have bothered someone, or if I have possibly made a poor decision; it haunts me. It follows me. My guilt and shame often cause a rift in my relationship with those close to me, as well as with the Lord.
But He is not surprised. It is hard for me to reconcile this. I consider myself as someone who is well aware of His grace, but then, I start to believe that I have the ability to surprise and disappoint my Father. I come before him in great shame. This shame is not humility. It's shame that stems from pride. As I confess my sin before God, I feel like I owe Him something. I feel like I should pay for my sin. It is not easy to contextualize that His death on the cross is enough. He changed history that day on calvary, but I start to see it as if it were a mishap. I laugh in the face of His death when I believe that my sin deserves extra special treatment....beyond the death of a savior.
This way of thinking also gets in the way of my relationship with others. I take on the opinion that the sin of others is offensive. I harbor bitterness when someone wrongs me. When they sin, I get angry. And this makes me defensive. In so doing, I sin against them. It's the plank in my eye that Jesus talked about.
God's holy spirit is behind me, and I have access to the realm of Heaven because of His death. And when I say "forgive me," He does. I want to see Him as a God who will want to punish me, but He doesn't. Because I have accepted His Holy Spirit into my life, He sees me not as me, but He sees me as He sees His son. He sees me as His daughter. And His grace is enough. When I humbly come before Him, and let go of the guilt that I feel, I can walk in freedom under his wing. And then it becomes easier to make good decisions. When I accept His grace, something awesome happens. I see myself as He sees me. But even better, I can start to see others as He sees them. Then I am not surprised by their sin. And I am not so easily offended by others. We all are on a level playing feild. We all are imperfect. And I can start to accept others despite their choices. And I can accept myself, too. And love them the way that He loves them.
When I boast in my weakness, instead of fear them, I start to experience the power of His grace. I am able to walk in His freedom.
My prayers lately have been that I would get better at accepting His grace. And that His forgiveness and acceptance of my sin would rub off on my character, so that I can love my family, friends, aquaintances and strangers better.
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."- Jesus- in Matthew 7:5
"9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
This is a lesson that is really hard to learn. I feel so guilty when I hurt someone. When I feel that I may have offended someone, or when I have bothered someone, or if I have possibly made a poor decision; it haunts me. It follows me. My guilt and shame often cause a rift in my relationship with those close to me, as well as with the Lord.
But He is not surprised. It is hard for me to reconcile this. I consider myself as someone who is well aware of His grace, but then, I start to believe that I have the ability to surprise and disappoint my Father. I come before him in great shame. This shame is not humility. It's shame that stems from pride. As I confess my sin before God, I feel like I owe Him something. I feel like I should pay for my sin. It is not easy to contextualize that His death on the cross is enough. He changed history that day on calvary, but I start to see it as if it were a mishap. I laugh in the face of His death when I believe that my sin deserves extra special treatment....beyond the death of a savior.
This way of thinking also gets in the way of my relationship with others. I take on the opinion that the sin of others is offensive. I harbor bitterness when someone wrongs me. When they sin, I get angry. And this makes me defensive. In so doing, I sin against them. It's the plank in my eye that Jesus talked about.
God's holy spirit is behind me, and I have access to the realm of Heaven because of His death. And when I say "forgive me," He does. I want to see Him as a God who will want to punish me, but He doesn't. Because I have accepted His Holy Spirit into my life, He sees me not as me, but He sees me as He sees His son. He sees me as His daughter. And His grace is enough. When I humbly come before Him, and let go of the guilt that I feel, I can walk in freedom under his wing. And then it becomes easier to make good decisions. When I accept His grace, something awesome happens. I see myself as He sees me. But even better, I can start to see others as He sees them. Then I am not surprised by their sin. And I am not so easily offended by others. We all are on a level playing feild. We all are imperfect. And I can start to accept others despite their choices. And I can accept myself, too. And love them the way that He loves them.
When I boast in my weakness, instead of fear them, I start to experience the power of His grace. I am able to walk in His freedom.
My prayers lately have been that I would get better at accepting His grace. And that His forgiveness and acceptance of my sin would rub off on my character, so that I can love my family, friends, aquaintances and strangers better.
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."- Jesus- in Matthew 7:5
"9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9
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