Glory

I started 2020 with a word, and not a resolution. Glory. I want so badly to glorify God. I desire so much to live a life that is loud for Jesus. I am trying not to be annoying (which is hard for me) but I want so badly for others to comprehend how majestic He is. I have an undeniable thirst to proclaim how real He is. 

I understand that everyone's life is different. That "religion" should be kept quiet to some. Except, in a world where everyone, in some capacity is being looked at through a microscope, and opinions are raging, and minds are closing, I want so badly to unsilence the oppression, that I am watching on social media, and on tv, of the gospel. 

A message of hope, and peace, and love, that originated with a Father, who created this world for US. The message is drowning in misunderstandings. In politics. In fashion blogs, and housekeeping posts. Everyone has a voice right now, and coexisting with the many voices, is a loud public outcry for truth, when you look close. 

Reading between the lines, is a innate need for peace, that we can't find, because it is being hidden. Hidden under recipes, and outfits, and beautiful young women. Opinions about how to raise your kids, or what to eat, when to eat, where to go. Vacations that you can't afford, or maybe can. Noisy politicians who use scripture to profit a following, and misappropriate its message. Shootings, violence, natural disasters, and the Corona virus, overdose, homelessness, poverty, debt...they all are winning. They are all false prophets, trying to mask themselves as good, or evil, or fear...creating a false reality , each proclaiming to us, that this world doesn't need a God or a Savior...

And that is dangerous for the human condition. I see even Christians falling victim to this false reality. And the message of the gospel is being muddied up by the unconscious lack of discipline to sit down and open the Word that God wrote for us. It is a beautiful love letter, and it promises that if you read it, and give your heart to Jesus, that all of those things that are closing in and making you claustrophobic and ripping through your heart and family, and life, and culture, can be lifted and transformed, by simply spending time in it. 

As a human, I understand that the fear, and the jealousy and the desire for more. And then a desire for simplicity. And to find an end to anxiety. 

I have an innate desire to be a really good employee. I want to be a really good teacher. I want to have a successful Jazzercise studio, and I want to be a mom who teaches her kids how to be good, and give back to society, and love Jesus. I want to afford vacations, and I want to have the cutest house. These desires and hopes are magnified, let me tell you, by a million, each kid that has come. And so are the disappointments. 

My day is waking up to fighting kids, who need a million things. I barely have coffee, and I am changing one kid, cleaning the dog's poop, running to make lunches, then change a diaper, and dress another kid. Finding lost homework, and a book, make breakfast, wipe the counters, finding shoes, brushing teeth and hair, getting everyone off to school, then trying to learn my routines, and creating an encouraging workout, then spending hours working from home, and trying to work as much as I can, entertain a toddler, and throw a load of laundry in, before the kids get home, and need help with homework, then off to practice, and dinner, and baths, and then work again at night. The stress and anxiety, and weight of the world can be indescribable, and when spilled milk or another tantrum, or more laundry, because someone else is sick, or peed the bed tips me over the edge, all of the desires I have to be the best go out the window, and when I pick up my phone, and am instantly calm when I am able to connect with the outside world. I find out quickly how fast I am elated, and it is almost bearable to handle more stress of the day.

This is not bad. Finding tools to destress, or handle my kids is not bad. But when it becomes my only tool, without relying first on the savior that was sent to me, makes it harder to withstand the tantrums, the laundry, or find joy in the suffering of the reality of life. You might not look at your phone like I do. Or maybe you find a way to destress another route. But losing sight of what God promises is dangerous.

He promises to help grow our character in the pressure of life. He intends to let us fail, and feel pain, and stress, but carry us through it and grow us stronger. And if we don't let him, we miss out on an immense amount of joy and hope and peace that will transform us. Not only individually, but as a culture. Letting Him, is spending time with Him. Getting to know Him. Reading His word, praying, and watching Him move is the greatest gift on this planet. It's what we were made for. It is where real joy and peace are found.

I have such a strong desire to see Him move in my community. And in my world. Beyond politics, and blogging, and cute spaces on Instagram is a really powerful, loving God who swoops in and makes us better. Like really better, not just saying "I'm better." and posting an "I'm better now" photo. 

I want His Glory and His presence to be so real in my life that He moves viciously, and vibrantly around me. I want to go through hard things, and enjoy them. I don't want His depths, and His glory to be muddied out by the loudness of our culture. He is what will change lives. And whether He moves slow, or fast in your life, it doesn't matter. He moves right. And good. And the peace is real.

I can testify that in the muddiest times of my life, God does not fail. When I am at my bitter end, I keep finding an endless amount of joy and peace, and energy to sustain me in the overwhelming parts of the day. His boundless JOY compels me to want so badly to Glorify Him. And my prayer daily, is that you would also experience the fullness of the Peace that is in Christ alone.

"And who will harm you if you are deeply committed to what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear or be disturbed, but honor god as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you." 1 Peter 3:13-15