What I've learned in the 5 years of being a mom...
5 years ago, I became a mom.
I know 5 years is not a long time compared to so many other women. To me, it seems like it has been a life time, but it has gone by in a blink of the eye. There are certain things that I have learned along the way that I thought have value. I have no doubt that in the years that may come (elementary school, jr. high, high school, sports, friends, girlfriends) that I may have more to say, but I felt like blogging today about where I am at now; as a mom of two, on Harrison's fifth birthday.
I have learned how to love better. I love my kids. I love them so much. I never want to ever be away from them. On the worst of days; when both of them have thrown a fit about every minute, and I have found myself cleaning every room again, breaking up fights, and wiping yet another poopy butt. When I have had to turn down lunch with a friend because someone has a snotty nose, or when I have been up all night for a week cleaning up throw up, or calming a nightmare, or changing sheets that have been peed on, I don't want to be away. I love them. I love that they put me through the ringer. I love that I look like a disaster every day. I love their little hands, and their toes. I love that when my hair is disheveled, and I am wearing the same pair of sweats for the third day in a row, clad with bleach stains and who-knows-what else, they call me princess. Wherever I am in the house, they find a way to play where I am. They want me to put them to bed, and kiss them good bye. I have learned to love in such a way that physically takes it out of me, but surprises me too.
The Lord has been faithful in giving me enough patience through parenting. Although, sometimes I feel like He needs to give me more, I am blessed that He has taught me how badly I need Him through the trials and errors that come at a rapid pace. When I lean on Him, I am better at it. And it seems like He has answered almost every prayer that I have petitioned. As I seek Him, I am able to see what it is He needs me to know. And sometimes, it's just to enjoy the craziness of it all.
I have learned that my car will never be clean. Not a day goes by that I am not throwing out old french fries or an overflowing diaper bag from the back of the mini van. And I am okay with it. I am also okay that my laundry will never be done, and that every day, I will be putting the same toys away 500 times, just to be able to see my carpet. I am not surprised anymore by finding food in a crevice or a corner. I am not burdened by the fact that daily, I am whipping more poopy bottoms than ever expected. As soon as I clean up breakfast, it's time for lunch. And then dinner. And then baths. I have become a janitor and a cook and a nurse and a counselor.
I have learned not to sweat the small stuff with food. Initially, with Harrison, I had high expectations of his diet. No sugar, organic food only, and veggies and fruit. I decided that I was putting too much pressure on myself and him. So I am not worried when I make a trip to McDonald's every week before Awana's. And sometimes on Sundays. He eats a variety of apples, banana's and quesadilla's and dino-chicken. As unhealthy my kids are, they are healthy. And I have learned not to put too much pressure on what they eat.
I have learned to accept help from others. I don't think I could have gotten through this time without my mother-in-law, mom, my sister, my cousin. They help me daily. And at first it was difficult letting go of control, but now I realize the blessing and importance of grandparents. I am so blessed to have so much help with my boys. That they have grandparents, and aunts, and cousins, and uncles who love them so much. And I particularly have a weekly reminder of that love as I am able to work while Jon's mom helps me, and my cousin, and my mom. I am so blessed to have so much help, and I have learned how huge and significant it is that we have so many people who love our kids so much.
Schedules are important. Nap time, bath time, dinner time, and bed time need to be routine. I have learned to be a stickler about this because kids thrive when they are well fed and have had enough sleep. It has become difficult now that Harrison is in so many late-night activities, but we try our best to make sure that we prioritize nap times and bed time and dinner time as best as we can.
I have learned that I don't really care how successful my kids are; as long as they do their best. And really, I am mostly concerned that they learn how to love and be kind to others. I want them to know that it's important to obey. I want them to know that they have value, but that they are not the only people in the world. I would rather them do good for others than receive all that I can possibly give them. I don't buy them toys very often. I don't want them to think that life is handed to them; I want them to learn that you have to work for things; not to expect things of others, but to give. If they are throwing a fit, they have a consequence. Generally, it makes the fit louder and worse, but I want them to know that life has real consequences, and I won't be here to bail them out. I am here to love them, but one day, I want them to have life skills to be able to problem solve and deal with their emotions on their own. I believe such skills are learned at an early age. I learned a long time ago, that sometimes the best decision in parenting is usually the hardest decision. And sometimes, more tears are better because through such situations, my kids learn. I want them to know how to make good decisions when others aren't. And that when choices that are made poorly, eventually, they will have to deal with the negative consequences. I want them to experience that.
I want them to know the importance of learning. Of reading. Of exploring. I try to give them opportunity to explore and ask questions. To seek and find the depths of knowledge available to them. I love to take them to nature; on hikes, to the beach, to lakes. I love to go with them to the museum, and the library. I want them to go outside. I want them to see and experience their surroundings. I love to walk with them, and talk with them. I love to go places with them, and watch them learn as they see. As they ask questions.
Most importantly, I want them to know God. His love. And experience and find Him on their own. I want them to learn His word. Late nights at Awana's are so worth the exhaustion we experience because they learn His word. Early mornings to church; no matter how stressful are a huge priority because of the significance of learning more about His love. I want them to have a relationship with the living God. I talk to them incessantly about Him. How He can come into their heart. I want them to know His love. So much. I pray over them multiple times a day, and have since they were born. I pray for their future wive, their friends, their teachers, their coaches, their cousins. That people who know the Lord would be brought into their lives. And so far, the Lord has been very consistent in answering this prayer. I don't want to push religion, I want to teach and do my best to show God's love. I pray that God would reveal it as best as He can through me.
I am so thankful for the fullness of His grace, and the love that He has taught me through being a mom. I am just now on the cusp of it getting crazy. Driving from preschool, to tball, to awana's...it's starting. I am sure in 5 years, I will have a lot more to say about the madnesss of parenting, but for now, this is where I am.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5 (NKJV)
I know 5 years is not a long time compared to so many other women. To me, it seems like it has been a life time, but it has gone by in a blink of the eye. There are certain things that I have learned along the way that I thought have value. I have no doubt that in the years that may come (elementary school, jr. high, high school, sports, friends, girlfriends) that I may have more to say, but I felt like blogging today about where I am at now; as a mom of two, on Harrison's fifth birthday.
I have learned how to love better. I love my kids. I love them so much. I never want to ever be away from them. On the worst of days; when both of them have thrown a fit about every minute, and I have found myself cleaning every room again, breaking up fights, and wiping yet another poopy butt. When I have had to turn down lunch with a friend because someone has a snotty nose, or when I have been up all night for a week cleaning up throw up, or calming a nightmare, or changing sheets that have been peed on, I don't want to be away. I love them. I love that they put me through the ringer. I love that I look like a disaster every day. I love their little hands, and their toes. I love that when my hair is disheveled, and I am wearing the same pair of sweats for the third day in a row, clad with bleach stains and who-knows-what else, they call me princess. Wherever I am in the house, they find a way to play where I am. They want me to put them to bed, and kiss them good bye. I have learned to love in such a way that physically takes it out of me, but surprises me too.
The Lord has been faithful in giving me enough patience through parenting. Although, sometimes I feel like He needs to give me more, I am blessed that He has taught me how badly I need Him through the trials and errors that come at a rapid pace. When I lean on Him, I am better at it. And it seems like He has answered almost every prayer that I have petitioned. As I seek Him, I am able to see what it is He needs me to know. And sometimes, it's just to enjoy the craziness of it all.
I have learned that my car will never be clean. Not a day goes by that I am not throwing out old french fries or an overflowing diaper bag from the back of the mini van. And I am okay with it. I am also okay that my laundry will never be done, and that every day, I will be putting the same toys away 500 times, just to be able to see my carpet. I am not surprised anymore by finding food in a crevice or a corner. I am not burdened by the fact that daily, I am whipping more poopy bottoms than ever expected. As soon as I clean up breakfast, it's time for lunch. And then dinner. And then baths. I have become a janitor and a cook and a nurse and a counselor.
I have learned not to sweat the small stuff with food. Initially, with Harrison, I had high expectations of his diet. No sugar, organic food only, and veggies and fruit. I decided that I was putting too much pressure on myself and him. So I am not worried when I make a trip to McDonald's every week before Awana's. And sometimes on Sundays. He eats a variety of apples, banana's and quesadilla's and dino-chicken. As unhealthy my kids are, they are healthy. And I have learned not to put too much pressure on what they eat.
I have learned to accept help from others. I don't think I could have gotten through this time without my mother-in-law, mom, my sister, my cousin. They help me daily. And at first it was difficult letting go of control, but now I realize the blessing and importance of grandparents. I am so blessed to have so much help with my boys. That they have grandparents, and aunts, and cousins, and uncles who love them so much. And I particularly have a weekly reminder of that love as I am able to work while Jon's mom helps me, and my cousin, and my mom. I am so blessed to have so much help, and I have learned how huge and significant it is that we have so many people who love our kids so much.
Schedules are important. Nap time, bath time, dinner time, and bed time need to be routine. I have learned to be a stickler about this because kids thrive when they are well fed and have had enough sleep. It has become difficult now that Harrison is in so many late-night activities, but we try our best to make sure that we prioritize nap times and bed time and dinner time as best as we can.
I have learned that I don't really care how successful my kids are; as long as they do their best. And really, I am mostly concerned that they learn how to love and be kind to others. I want them to know that it's important to obey. I want them to know that they have value, but that they are not the only people in the world. I would rather them do good for others than receive all that I can possibly give them. I don't buy them toys very often. I don't want them to think that life is handed to them; I want them to learn that you have to work for things; not to expect things of others, but to give. If they are throwing a fit, they have a consequence. Generally, it makes the fit louder and worse, but I want them to know that life has real consequences, and I won't be here to bail them out. I am here to love them, but one day, I want them to have life skills to be able to problem solve and deal with their emotions on their own. I believe such skills are learned at an early age. I learned a long time ago, that sometimes the best decision in parenting is usually the hardest decision. And sometimes, more tears are better because through such situations, my kids learn. I want them to know how to make good decisions when others aren't. And that when choices that are made poorly, eventually, they will have to deal with the negative consequences. I want them to experience that.
I want them to know the importance of learning. Of reading. Of exploring. I try to give them opportunity to explore and ask questions. To seek and find the depths of knowledge available to them. I love to take them to nature; on hikes, to the beach, to lakes. I love to go with them to the museum, and the library. I want them to go outside. I want them to see and experience their surroundings. I love to walk with them, and talk with them. I love to go places with them, and watch them learn as they see. As they ask questions.
Most importantly, I want them to know God. His love. And experience and find Him on their own. I want them to learn His word. Late nights at Awana's are so worth the exhaustion we experience because they learn His word. Early mornings to church; no matter how stressful are a huge priority because of the significance of learning more about His love. I want them to have a relationship with the living God. I talk to them incessantly about Him. How He can come into their heart. I want them to know His love. So much. I pray over them multiple times a day, and have since they were born. I pray for their future wive, their friends, their teachers, their coaches, their cousins. That people who know the Lord would be brought into their lives. And so far, the Lord has been very consistent in answering this prayer. I don't want to push religion, I want to teach and do my best to show God's love. I pray that God would reveal it as best as He can through me.
I am so thankful for the fullness of His grace, and the love that He has taught me through being a mom. I am just now on the cusp of it getting crazy. Driving from preschool, to tball, to awana's...it's starting. I am sure in 5 years, I will have a lot more to say about the madnesss of parenting, but for now, this is where I am.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one’s youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5 (NKJV)
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