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Showing posts from July, 2012

Dutz

There is something to be said about a generation who endured the great depression, World War II, and who bore the great generation that includes my parents': the "Baby Boomers." I know that there has been a lot written about this generation. Many people, including Tom Brokaw, has called the "Silent Generation" the "greatest generation in the 20th century." And I agree. From personal experience, I have had the privilege to have had this example of the Silent Generation molded into my life through my Grandma Dutz. I am so fortunate to be able to have been blessed with words of wisdom coupled with a modeled example of what it means to do what is right. There are so many things about my grandma that set her apart. She raised 7 kids: 6 girls and 1 boy while my Grandpap was off on military duty during the Korea and Vietnam wars. She worked diligently as a delivery nurse, was involved in her church, kept a clean house, put food on the table, and made sure t

Prayer Raper

I'm a prayer raper. And I only know for sure that I am, because my husband coined that term one day, when I interrupted one of our conversations we were having, to bow my head and pray. I don't think that he has ever called me anything that has made me so excited. I'll admit; I'm awkward. Sometimes, if he is talking about a problem or a blessing, I will just shut down the conversation and start praying. It cracks me up that he said that. Jesus set out such a good example of what a prayer life should be. He, the son of God, Godman, came to earth and knew the importance of being in constant communication with God. I love his heart to pray fervently; it's so convicting. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to go into the desert for forty days and forty nights and pray without ceasing, and then talk back to the whiles of the devil. I would be more like Peter, who after Jesus commanded to stay up with Him and pray, fell asleep. While Jon calls me a "prayer

My Confession

The word sounds unpleasant: jealousy. Words like: "fear", "anxiety", "pride", and "resentment" find themselves attached to the thoughts and emotions that stem from "jealousy." All of these terms would be the Lord's biggest opposition. The dark angel fell because of pride. Jonah fled from Ninevah because of fear and anxiety. There are countless stories in the Bible (and in the rest of human history) that led to destruction because of jealousy. In the book of Job, the author talks in the fifth chapter about resentment. "Resentment kills the fool, and envy slays the simple." (Job 5:2) Slays. Kills. That's what jealousy does. And that is why I am compelled to confess my sin. I am a jealous person. I don't think it is necessarily a light hearted matter. I am jealous by nature, and I am not happy to admit it. I would by no means direct the attention off of myself and blame anything else, but quite frankly, the world th

Love

I am in constant recovery from a lifetime of thinking that what I know what love is. God is so gracious that He has spelled out through the pages of the Bible what He means about love. When Jon and I were first married, we were constantly arguing and pushing one another. Jon was graduating college, and I was searching what I wanted to do with my professional career. I wanted to go a million places and have a million friends, and he was comfortable sitting on the couch after a long day of working. It seemed like we had just gotten used to one another, when we threw a baby in the mix. Being pregnant was the biggest blessing in my life. I was so thankful that I got pregnant 8 months after my miscarriage, because it was so soon, and I knew that this was God's plan. However, during the time that I first found out I was pregnant with Harrison, I was in summer school to get my prereq's done for the teaching credential program. I was taking 5 summer school classes (which btw is insan

Broken heart

I know the end of the story. Jesus defeats Satan. He essentially did on the cross, where my sins were buried. I am so thankful for that fact. I know I have said it before in my blog, but I am not necessarily the brightest when it comes to a lot of things. I have never been the smartest in class, or the quickest in a meeting, or the wittiest at the lunch table. It has taken me a while, but I am thankful for that part about me now. I'm glad that in all parts of my life, I am forced to rely on God. It is so obvious that it is Him in my life that has gotten me to this point. By no means do I sit here writing today with a judgmental attitude. I have done my fair share of sinning. And I know that most sin is sin. My gossiping or speaking before thinking is the same sin as the sin that I want to talk about today. My heart is really breaking. I am frustrated with Satan. Honestly, I know for sure that God wins, and that He is infinitely more powerful than the enemy, but I hate seeing peop

Walk in the garden

When God of Heaven called me to follow Him, I was like a blind person unsure of what to know and what to expect. I remember praying that He would teach me and show me who He was. I had no idea the adventure that He would take me on. And I don't mean the kind of adventure that people write movies about. It has been more of a spiritual adventure. I look back on my old prayer books and notes in my bible, and pictures of who I was throughout the years of following Him, and I am inspired and stand in awe of where He has brought me. I by no means am in a place where I can say with confidence that I am following Him and know Him to the best of my ability. There are questionable choices I make on a regular basis. However, there are so many times where I surprise myself. It might be a reaction to a circumstance, or a verse that I memorized, that I sit back and know for certain that it was not me who learned how to be this way. When I cut back my plants in my garden, I get a little bit sad