Righteous

Am I the only one who thinks of myself as innocent? My automatic reaction to most things said against me is to become defensive. I almost always immediately think I am right. When I consider the actions that I take, I don't naturally think of them as wrong. I know my motives, and generally think of myself as good. When I make a mistake, I feel badly. Like I need to make up for it. It's almost like I am shocked that I am capable of such things. Because I am a good person. I don't mean to ever be prideful, or judgemental, or decrepit. I just need to vent about others, and I have good reason to disparage others.

And other people are corrupt. They make me say bad things. Or they are stupid. They don't make good choices in life. Most certainly, they don't have the same good motives as me. When someone does something against me, I want to react. It would be ludicrous to consider what might be the rationale behind their actions.

There is a part of me that understands the truth, though. That I am not as righteous as I think I am. That part of me gets stronger, the more time I spend with the Lord. There is freedom in understanding my sin. The less surprised I become at how unholy I am, the easier it seems I can live. There is so much freedom in gaining righteousness from the Lord.

Our sin nature wants so badly to believe that we are good. We are designed in His image, and we have an innate desire; hunger, even for righteousness. When we channel that desire into our own decision making, we get prideful. It ends in disaster. Good motives and hopes of success crumble when we put our trust in our own capabilty to create life for ourselves. It's the creator of life who can solidly direct us.

He is faithful in His ability to do a good work in us.

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.