Hallie and Joshua.
I've been trying to post about Hallie every week since she was born, and I have had such a hard time explaining in words this transition of having a new, sweet, easy, perfect little girl added to our family. I haven't been able to say what I want to, and I think it's because the kind of love that you have for a child is impossible to explain. I keep coming across as too cheesy or really wordy. But I feel like posting about her, because I want to remember this time. God has been at work in so many different ways, and I feel like if I don't write it I will forget it.
So here goes my really selfish blog post...
Four weeks ago today, Hallie was born. I love her. She is such an easy going, little blessing. She loves her brothers; which I can't REALLY tell because she is so new, but she gets so calm around them. If she is crying, I can lay her down where they are playing (lego's, coloring, fighter guys...whatever) and she will stop and watch them. When they hold her, she will fall asleep. But really, she falls asleep with everyone, so I am not sure if it's that she's madly in love with her brothers, or if she is just an easy little baby. So I will just tell my self that they are all three best friends.
She seamlessly transitioned into a feeding schedule, and sleeps better than my other two did at her age at night. She has the same sweet disposition that she did in my belly. She cries, but is easily put to sleep. She is so much fun to dress up. She has brought so much joy into our house, and it is so apparent what a gift she is.
These four weeks have been so crazy, and I know it is no accident that in my quiet times, I have been going through the book of Joshua. I've spent the entire pregnancy going through the first few books of the Bible. I read from Exodus to now Joshua. Reading through Moses and the Israelite's journey from Egypt to the promise land has been so much fun. I used to really like God, but now I have a whole new understanding of Him, and what He is capable of. And how useless I am.
I wrapped up the book of Joshua yesterday. And without getting into the ENTIRE journey (and giving away all of the spoilers), I sat reflecting on how awesome and big God is. That when we are fully surrendered to Him that He is willing and beyond capable to bless us. Sometimes I like to think that God is talking to me, and I will write it down. God seemed to be reminding me that He has more surprises for me in my life. He was telling me to relax, let go, and watch Him move in my life (It seems like He says that a lot). However, before I finished Joshua, I snuck a peak at the book of Judges. I am planning on starting Judges tomorrow, but the premise is after the Israelites made it to the promise land. They live in cities that they didn't build, they conquered every impossible people group that they weren't supposed to conquer, and they filled the land of milk and honey. But they got really comfortable...and they fell away from God.
I started to consider my life in relation to what I was reading in scripture. As I looked upon the life of the Israelites, I started to praise God. He seems to ALWAYS keep me in need of Him. I never am too comfortable.
The day I brought Hallie home from the hospital, Harrison threw up. And so did Jon. Anyone who knows Jon knows that he never takes days off, but he was so sick, he literally couldn't get off the couch. Our family had caught a HUGE stomach flu. It lasted over a week So instead of having a husband for a day (which he was planning on taking one day off of work to help me transition), I literally was taking care of a new baby, a postpartum body, a sick 5 year old, a bored 3 year old, and a sick husband. I needed to disinfect the entire house, and clean sheets, and worry about Harrison and Jon getting Hallie or I sick. I was blessed to have the help of my mom, my mother in law, and my sister, and friends, but ultimately, I would not consider the first week home with Hallie one that was particularly centered on what I am supposed to.
In the midst of the chaos, I was reminded to accept help, and rest as much as possible. It was a circumstance that in the past would have given me an extreme case of Baby blues, but I felt like the stress and anxiety that should have happened, subsided. I literally had such a great peace, and was able to take it easy with the help of others. I fully pressed into God, for fear of losing my mind, and He really did sustain me.
The weeks that have followed have also been chaotic. Jon started full swing in his basketball season. As the head coach of varsity, he gets home late, and works almost 8 hours on Saturdays. He is gone all of the time, and I have been alone with the kids most days. His schedule, along with Thanksgiving week, and running around have kept our family really busy. But the fact that I have had no choice but to completely rely on God to get me through every step has in turn granted me such joy and peace.
A week ago, Jon's car was leaking fluid. Money that should have been spent on Christmas was put into fixing his car. I have not heard back from the state about my disability money, and we have a lot of questions right now regarding what to expect as far as finances go.
And to top it off, we got home last night from Christmas at my dad's to a broken in house. Someone threw a rock through our window, and glass was everywhere. We quickly put the kids to bed, and called 911. While we were waiting for the police, I fed Hallie, and Jon looked through every closet and under every bed to make sure that no one was still here. Our house was trashed. Glass was everywhere, and our dressers, file cabinets, and closets were emptied and thrown in every direction. After the police left, we were up past midnight vacuuming, putting away clothes, and cleaning the fingerprinting mess that the cops left. They took a few electronics, but luckily not much else. We woke up again, and spent all day cleaning up glass and putting our house back together today.
I am so thankful right now. God is so good. As I wrapped up Joshua, I thought about how good it is when I am forced to be reminded that all of the blessings in my life are from Him. And how badly I always need to be reminded that I need Him for everything. I am afraid to be in land of milk and honey. I am too prideful and too sinful. I am so capable of forgetting Him. It has happened so many times in my life that things go easy (or not so easy) and I forget that He is the one who sustains me. I don't want Judges to happen to me. That I fall away from God, and forget His majesty. And forget to rely on Him.
The things that I am writing about in this blog are not horrible. And they are not uncommon daily experiences...they are really annoying life circumstances that often have the tendency to bog me down. I have a choice to be really stressed out and overwhelmed, or to realize that I am under His wing. And to trust Him. And watch Him move.
I think He likes to surprise us. And I am currently so thankful for times like this where testing occurs. I am forced to make a choice between my flesh and Him. I am forced to be careful to love God first, and trust Him before my flesh. And as I do so, I am blessed with such gratitude.
Hallie's name is the short form of Hallelujah. I am praising Him for the blessings in my life.
9 “For the Lord has driven out great and powerful nations for you, and no one has yet been able to defeat you. 10 Each one of you will put to flight a thousand of the enemy, for the Lord your God fights for you, just as he has promised. 11 So be very careful to love the Lord your God." Joshua23:9-11
So here goes my really selfish blog post...
Four weeks ago today, Hallie was born. I love her. She is such an easy going, little blessing. She loves her brothers; which I can't REALLY tell because she is so new, but she gets so calm around them. If she is crying, I can lay her down where they are playing (lego's, coloring, fighter guys...whatever) and she will stop and watch them. When they hold her, she will fall asleep. But really, she falls asleep with everyone, so I am not sure if it's that she's madly in love with her brothers, or if she is just an easy little baby. So I will just tell my self that they are all three best friends.
She seamlessly transitioned into a feeding schedule, and sleeps better than my other two did at her age at night. She has the same sweet disposition that she did in my belly. She cries, but is easily put to sleep. She is so much fun to dress up. She has brought so much joy into our house, and it is so apparent what a gift she is.
These four weeks have been so crazy, and I know it is no accident that in my quiet times, I have been going through the book of Joshua. I've spent the entire pregnancy going through the first few books of the Bible. I read from Exodus to now Joshua. Reading through Moses and the Israelite's journey from Egypt to the promise land has been so much fun. I used to really like God, but now I have a whole new understanding of Him, and what He is capable of. And how useless I am.
I wrapped up the book of Joshua yesterday. And without getting into the ENTIRE journey (and giving away all of the spoilers), I sat reflecting on how awesome and big God is. That when we are fully surrendered to Him that He is willing and beyond capable to bless us. Sometimes I like to think that God is talking to me, and I will write it down. God seemed to be reminding me that He has more surprises for me in my life. He was telling me to relax, let go, and watch Him move in my life (It seems like He says that a lot). However, before I finished Joshua, I snuck a peak at the book of Judges. I am planning on starting Judges tomorrow, but the premise is after the Israelites made it to the promise land. They live in cities that they didn't build, they conquered every impossible people group that they weren't supposed to conquer, and they filled the land of milk and honey. But they got really comfortable...and they fell away from God.
I started to consider my life in relation to what I was reading in scripture. As I looked upon the life of the Israelites, I started to praise God. He seems to ALWAYS keep me in need of Him. I never am too comfortable.
The day I brought Hallie home from the hospital, Harrison threw up. And so did Jon. Anyone who knows Jon knows that he never takes days off, but he was so sick, he literally couldn't get off the couch. Our family had caught a HUGE stomach flu. It lasted over a week So instead of having a husband for a day (which he was planning on taking one day off of work to help me transition), I literally was taking care of a new baby, a postpartum body, a sick 5 year old, a bored 3 year old, and a sick husband. I needed to disinfect the entire house, and clean sheets, and worry about Harrison and Jon getting Hallie or I sick. I was blessed to have the help of my mom, my mother in law, and my sister, and friends, but ultimately, I would not consider the first week home with Hallie one that was particularly centered on what I am supposed to.
In the midst of the chaos, I was reminded to accept help, and rest as much as possible. It was a circumstance that in the past would have given me an extreme case of Baby blues, but I felt like the stress and anxiety that should have happened, subsided. I literally had such a great peace, and was able to take it easy with the help of others. I fully pressed into God, for fear of losing my mind, and He really did sustain me.
The weeks that have followed have also been chaotic. Jon started full swing in his basketball season. As the head coach of varsity, he gets home late, and works almost 8 hours on Saturdays. He is gone all of the time, and I have been alone with the kids most days. His schedule, along with Thanksgiving week, and running around have kept our family really busy. But the fact that I have had no choice but to completely rely on God to get me through every step has in turn granted me such joy and peace.
A week ago, Jon's car was leaking fluid. Money that should have been spent on Christmas was put into fixing his car. I have not heard back from the state about my disability money, and we have a lot of questions right now regarding what to expect as far as finances go.
And to top it off, we got home last night from Christmas at my dad's to a broken in house. Someone threw a rock through our window, and glass was everywhere. We quickly put the kids to bed, and called 911. While we were waiting for the police, I fed Hallie, and Jon looked through every closet and under every bed to make sure that no one was still here. Our house was trashed. Glass was everywhere, and our dressers, file cabinets, and closets were emptied and thrown in every direction. After the police left, we were up past midnight vacuuming, putting away clothes, and cleaning the fingerprinting mess that the cops left. They took a few electronics, but luckily not much else. We woke up again, and spent all day cleaning up glass and putting our house back together today.
I am so thankful right now. God is so good. As I wrapped up Joshua, I thought about how good it is when I am forced to be reminded that all of the blessings in my life are from Him. And how badly I always need to be reminded that I need Him for everything. I am afraid to be in land of milk and honey. I am too prideful and too sinful. I am so capable of forgetting Him. It has happened so many times in my life that things go easy (or not so easy) and I forget that He is the one who sustains me. I don't want Judges to happen to me. That I fall away from God, and forget His majesty. And forget to rely on Him.
The things that I am writing about in this blog are not horrible. And they are not uncommon daily experiences...they are really annoying life circumstances that often have the tendency to bog me down. I have a choice to be really stressed out and overwhelmed, or to realize that I am under His wing. And to trust Him. And watch Him move.
I think He likes to surprise us. And I am currently so thankful for times like this where testing occurs. I am forced to make a choice between my flesh and Him. I am forced to be careful to love God first, and trust Him before my flesh. And as I do so, I am blessed with such gratitude.
Hallie's name is the short form of Hallelujah. I am praising Him for the blessings in my life.
9 “For the Lord has driven out great and powerful nations for you, and no one has yet been able to defeat you. 10 Each one of you will put to flight a thousand of the enemy, for the Lord your God fights for you, just as he has promised. 11 So be very careful to love the Lord your God." Joshua23:9-11
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