4 kids
It was my first year in college. I was so proud to hold my course handbook, and choose the classes that I wanted. I was so fortunate to have my mom pay for my classes, and to live under her roof, so I didn't completely understand the stress of paying tuition and rent somewhere. However, I was a waitress 4 nights a week to pay for my car, insurance, registration, and any extra activities that I would want to participate in. I also used the money to go on vacations, and to buy clothes. I made it a habit during that time to work out 5 days a week, and when I did not study, go to class, waitress, or have social activities, I worked as an AVID tutor 3 days a week at a middle school. My second year of college, I added to my list of activities a youth group volunteer. My responsibilities on leadership included leadership meetings, planning for and leading bible studies, going to church weekly and youth group at night. I remember dreaming about the future. When I would only have to work, and not also go to school, study, and have the weight of learning new material, getting passing scores, and keeping up with everything else.
Fast forward 10 years. Things have definitely not sped down as I once hoped. Now, I work from home as a high school English teacher. I spend my work day grading papers, keeping after students, refreshing my knowledge of my profession, and holding other responsibilities of that of a teacher. I have four kids at home. I am always at doctor's appointments, baseball games, school drop off, playing puzzles, legos, and holding my own as any mom does. I am breastfeeding, doing laundry, cleaning, and by the grace of God, I still get my 5 days a week workout; teaching Jazzercise two to three days a week. Jon often times doesn't get home until late at night. He is a basketball coach and basketball season for high school students is year-round. He has weekend tournaments, week day practices, and league games throughout the year.
We all say it: "I am so busy." We live 20 years longing to be an adult, and then it hits us. We are adults. And then we live constantly wanting so badly to go back to childhood, when finances, and bank accounts, and laundry, and the responsibilities that come along with being a parent don't haunt our daily lives. We want to slow down, but know that we can't. If we do, the laundry will pile up, and we will be even more busy tomorrow. I don't know if I am the only one, but it isn't fun slowing down, because the aftermath is always worse the next day.
I believe that I was blessed with a fourth baby to learn what it really means to truly have success in attempting, or at least trying to enjoy the mess that is life. I don't want to live regretting my day. I want to drink it in and soak it up, even when it doesn't mean laying on a beach, or on the couch, or reading a book all of the time. I feel like ever since I had Hudson, I have a story. Every day. That will make you laugh because of the craziness that ensues. I'm not kidding. I think I call my sister on a daily basis, and drive her nuts with the stories I have to tell.
It was Mother's Day. Jon was sick. After he let me sleep in until 8:00, he walked straight upstairs to go back to sleep. Not one kid had eaten, and the house was turned upside down. I fed the kids, and started to clean. I gave the babies their nap, then got everyone ready for church. My third Mother's Day alone at church due to circumstantial issues. After getting everyone in the car, and realizing that Jon was out for the day, I drove myself and the kids to church. I grabbed the carrier, and carried Hallie, and reminded Harrison and Henry to hold onto something as we shlepped through the parking lot. I checked in Hallie, Henry, and Harrison to their Sunday school classes, and sat in the sanctuary with Hudson. It was ten minutes into the service that he was ready to eat, and I had to make sure that he did, because we needed to go to the market to get my mom her mother's day gift, We were going to her house for lunch, and I was also bringing a salad. So I grabbed his carrier, and snuck out of the row as the pastor read from Joshua. I wasn't out of the sanctuary before Hallie's teacher tracked me down. "She's been crying the entire time." Really? She never does. "Can you grab her?" Sure. So Hudson, screaming now because he was hungry, and I walked over to get Hallie from the nursery. She was screaming. And snotty. And I felt horrible because now, the snot was green. I needed to get her into the cry room, because I had to feed Hudson before we went to the market. Arching her back now, Hallie nearly fell out of my arms as I held Hudson, screaming in the carrier and walked into the cry room. There were three moms in the cry room, and two babies were sleeping. I somehow, miraculously, got Hallie to calm down and sit on my lap on a rocker while I fed Hudson for 10 minutes. I read to her, spoke softly to her, and finally, she had enough. Back to her tantrum. I walked out of the cry room so as not to wake up any babies, buckled up Hudson, and looked up. There she was. Out the door. Running into the parking lot. I'm sweating. Literally. I ran after her, with Hudson in tow, and grabbed her before she ran into the street. We were leaving. I went down to get the big boys from their session, where they beamed, so excited to give me the mother's day gifts they made in class. I got Harrison: "Happy Mother's day, mom, I love you!!!" I was so happy, but could not answer because as I listened to him retell me of his time in church, Hallie bolted down the hall, up the stairs, and toward the parking lot again. "Harrison, get on your shoes, let's go." Don't ask. Just know, he wouldn't come. He started crying. "Mom! This is the worst mother's day!!!!! I was supposed to get a candy for telling you happy mother's day!!!" All the way upstairs he screamed. As I am holding the baby carrier, hungry crying baby in tow, and chasing after Hallie. Luckily, Henry was calm. Somehow, I got all screaming kids across the parking lot to the car. We drove to the market with 3 of the 4 crying. "You ruined my mother's day!!!" Said Harrison.
We got to the market to buy the gifts, and the salad. Hallie threw out all items that she could, and Harrison was crying because I wouldn't buy him anything. Hudson was crying because he was hungry, and Hallie was crying because I wouldn't let her throw everything out of the cart. We paid for the salad and the gifts, and got into the car. We were on our way to Carlsbad. And my mom called. "Where are you?" she had called four times. "I"m on the way. It's only 1:00, isn't that when the party starts?" I asked. Apparently I missed it. The party started at 12. "We already ate."
I drove in traffic to my mom's. We got there, frantic kids in tow, at 1:40. I had to teach Jazzercise at 4:30, so I put my kids to bed for a nap, and ate my mother's day lunch. At 3:00, I started to get ready for class. Harrison and Henry begged to stay and play in the pool. And rather than have them cry the entire way back to Jazzercise, I said it was fine. I called Jon to meet me so that he could pick up Hudson, and let him know that Hallie was sleeping, and the boys wanted to stay at my mom's. I would pick them up after class. I drove back to teach Jazzercise 30 minutes later, and met Jon. I walked in to the center, and found out that I wasn't scheduled to teach. Icing. On. The. Cake. "Are you going to stay?" Jon asked. Yes. So I stayed, and at 5:30, called my mom to let her know I'd be there at 6. I was so thankful to pick up my kids. They had eaten dinner, and been bathed. It seemed that Mother's Day was looking up. On the way home, I announced to the kids that I wanted frozen yogurt. It was a rough one. They were so excited to be treated to a special treat! And I was excited to treat myself.
I let them go into the yogurt shop with bare feet. I was over it. I was not even about to waste my time getting shoes on everyone. We went into the shop, and Henry needed help. We realized that since it was the end of the day, none of the yogurt dispensers were working very well, so on top of trying to decide which flavors we wanted, I had to juggle my shoe-less kids and Hallie as I helped them pull the lever to get out the yogurt. I set Hallie down because she kept grabbing everything. Yogurt was all over her face, and hands. Harrison spilled the toppings all over the floor, and Henry was a disaster. I took the kids to pay for the desert, and carried two yogurts as I sifted through my wallet to grab my card, when Hallie plunged her hand into my yogurt. We finally got out the door, the kids shoeless and a mess. I set purse in the front seat, helped Harrison and Henry into the car, and set my cup and Hallies on the roof. We looked a mess. I looked up as I began to put Hallie in her car seat, when I noticed a man was sitting in front of my car. Staring.
"You parked awfully close." I thought he was kidding.
"Excuse me?" I asked, looking at my car to make sure that I was between the lines.
"You parked very close to my car, and almost hit your door as you opened it." He said, abruptly.
"There was an SUV right beside me, sir." I said. "I did my best to park my car."
Out from no where, a seemingly homeless lady yelled,"Yes sir, there was an SUV. We saw it."
"Well," he said, "What you should have done was move your car when you noticed the SUV had moved." and I don't know what he said after that. Harrison and Henry froze. They stared. He was angry and mad, and continued on for much longer, and I attempted to defend myself.
"Her children are BAREFOOT! And it's MOTHER'S DAY." Chastised the sweet lady.
I cried. Literally. Tears would not stop. "I'm sorry, sir."
Was this a JOKE?! Seriously. A joke? I was 10 seconds from going off on the man, but with exhaustion setting in, I apologized. And he could not say a word. He walked back into the restaurant he was eating at, and sat at his table.
I got into the passenger's side of the car so as not to disrupt things on his end. I climbed over the four bags that I had since prepared earlier in the day with extra clothes, swimming gear, and Jazzercise clothes, and sat in the driver's seat.
I looked in my car door, and found an old "happy birthday" card.
"May the Lord richly bless you. 1 John 4:10." I wrote. I sealed an envelope. Instead of putting it on his car, I yelled out to another stranger. I'm obviously a crazy person.
"Hey!" No lie. He thought I was nuts. "Will you give this to the big man in the black shirt at the table in there?"....
"Sure." He responded.
And Harrison, Henry, and I prayed for him.
Since Mother's day this year, I have learned a valuable lesson. Actually, I may have been learning this since I became an adult. Life is nuts. We can't anticipate the extremities by which we will face. And all of us are busy. And we are scoffed, and situations occur that we can't control. And we can't stop all of the responsibilities that we have. There's a lot to do. Always.
Enjoy it. Make the most of it. Don't complain about it. You aren't going to get what you want. But you can become someone who influences the world for the better when you stop, reflect, and let the worst situation become the better one. Play. Forgive. Really forgive. It's not a big deal. But work hard. So that tomorrow's laundry doesn't pile up, and so that you get your work out in, and so that the days don't get easier, but so that they get more enjoyable.
It's so crazy with four kids, a full time job, and everything else. But it's always crazy. And at doctor's appointments, car rides, tantrums, cleaning, grading, arguing, giving in, I am learning in this season to embrace it all. Because it's happening, and it's a good one.
Fast forward 10 years. Things have definitely not sped down as I once hoped. Now, I work from home as a high school English teacher. I spend my work day grading papers, keeping after students, refreshing my knowledge of my profession, and holding other responsibilities of that of a teacher. I have four kids at home. I am always at doctor's appointments, baseball games, school drop off, playing puzzles, legos, and holding my own as any mom does. I am breastfeeding, doing laundry, cleaning, and by the grace of God, I still get my 5 days a week workout; teaching Jazzercise two to three days a week. Jon often times doesn't get home until late at night. He is a basketball coach and basketball season for high school students is year-round. He has weekend tournaments, week day practices, and league games throughout the year.
We all say it: "I am so busy." We live 20 years longing to be an adult, and then it hits us. We are adults. And then we live constantly wanting so badly to go back to childhood, when finances, and bank accounts, and laundry, and the responsibilities that come along with being a parent don't haunt our daily lives. We want to slow down, but know that we can't. If we do, the laundry will pile up, and we will be even more busy tomorrow. I don't know if I am the only one, but it isn't fun slowing down, because the aftermath is always worse the next day.
I believe that I was blessed with a fourth baby to learn what it really means to truly have success in attempting, or at least trying to enjoy the mess that is life. I don't want to live regretting my day. I want to drink it in and soak it up, even when it doesn't mean laying on a beach, or on the couch, or reading a book all of the time. I feel like ever since I had Hudson, I have a story. Every day. That will make you laugh because of the craziness that ensues. I'm not kidding. I think I call my sister on a daily basis, and drive her nuts with the stories I have to tell.
It was Mother's Day. Jon was sick. After he let me sleep in until 8:00, he walked straight upstairs to go back to sleep. Not one kid had eaten, and the house was turned upside down. I fed the kids, and started to clean. I gave the babies their nap, then got everyone ready for church. My third Mother's Day alone at church due to circumstantial issues. After getting everyone in the car, and realizing that Jon was out for the day, I drove myself and the kids to church. I grabbed the carrier, and carried Hallie, and reminded Harrison and Henry to hold onto something as we shlepped through the parking lot. I checked in Hallie, Henry, and Harrison to their Sunday school classes, and sat in the sanctuary with Hudson. It was ten minutes into the service that he was ready to eat, and I had to make sure that he did, because we needed to go to the market to get my mom her mother's day gift, We were going to her house for lunch, and I was also bringing a salad. So I grabbed his carrier, and snuck out of the row as the pastor read from Joshua. I wasn't out of the sanctuary before Hallie's teacher tracked me down. "She's been crying the entire time." Really? She never does. "Can you grab her?" Sure. So Hudson, screaming now because he was hungry, and I walked over to get Hallie from the nursery. She was screaming. And snotty. And I felt horrible because now, the snot was green. I needed to get her into the cry room, because I had to feed Hudson before we went to the market. Arching her back now, Hallie nearly fell out of my arms as I held Hudson, screaming in the carrier and walked into the cry room. There were three moms in the cry room, and two babies were sleeping. I somehow, miraculously, got Hallie to calm down and sit on my lap on a rocker while I fed Hudson for 10 minutes. I read to her, spoke softly to her, and finally, she had enough. Back to her tantrum. I walked out of the cry room so as not to wake up any babies, buckled up Hudson, and looked up. There she was. Out the door. Running into the parking lot. I'm sweating. Literally. I ran after her, with Hudson in tow, and grabbed her before she ran into the street. We were leaving. I went down to get the big boys from their session, where they beamed, so excited to give me the mother's day gifts they made in class. I got Harrison: "Happy Mother's day, mom, I love you!!!" I was so happy, but could not answer because as I listened to him retell me of his time in church, Hallie bolted down the hall, up the stairs, and toward the parking lot again. "Harrison, get on your shoes, let's go." Don't ask. Just know, he wouldn't come. He started crying. "Mom! This is the worst mother's day!!!!! I was supposed to get a candy for telling you happy mother's day!!!" All the way upstairs he screamed. As I am holding the baby carrier, hungry crying baby in tow, and chasing after Hallie. Luckily, Henry was calm. Somehow, I got all screaming kids across the parking lot to the car. We drove to the market with 3 of the 4 crying. "You ruined my mother's day!!!" Said Harrison.
We got to the market to buy the gifts, and the salad. Hallie threw out all items that she could, and Harrison was crying because I wouldn't buy him anything. Hudson was crying because he was hungry, and Hallie was crying because I wouldn't let her throw everything out of the cart. We paid for the salad and the gifts, and got into the car. We were on our way to Carlsbad. And my mom called. "Where are you?" she had called four times. "I"m on the way. It's only 1:00, isn't that when the party starts?" I asked. Apparently I missed it. The party started at 12. "We already ate."
I drove in traffic to my mom's. We got there, frantic kids in tow, at 1:40. I had to teach Jazzercise at 4:30, so I put my kids to bed for a nap, and ate my mother's day lunch. At 3:00, I started to get ready for class. Harrison and Henry begged to stay and play in the pool. And rather than have them cry the entire way back to Jazzercise, I said it was fine. I called Jon to meet me so that he could pick up Hudson, and let him know that Hallie was sleeping, and the boys wanted to stay at my mom's. I would pick them up after class. I drove back to teach Jazzercise 30 minutes later, and met Jon. I walked in to the center, and found out that I wasn't scheduled to teach. Icing. On. The. Cake. "Are you going to stay?" Jon asked. Yes. So I stayed, and at 5:30, called my mom to let her know I'd be there at 6. I was so thankful to pick up my kids. They had eaten dinner, and been bathed. It seemed that Mother's Day was looking up. On the way home, I announced to the kids that I wanted frozen yogurt. It was a rough one. They were so excited to be treated to a special treat! And I was excited to treat myself.
I let them go into the yogurt shop with bare feet. I was over it. I was not even about to waste my time getting shoes on everyone. We went into the shop, and Henry needed help. We realized that since it was the end of the day, none of the yogurt dispensers were working very well, so on top of trying to decide which flavors we wanted, I had to juggle my shoe-less kids and Hallie as I helped them pull the lever to get out the yogurt. I set Hallie down because she kept grabbing everything. Yogurt was all over her face, and hands. Harrison spilled the toppings all over the floor, and Henry was a disaster. I took the kids to pay for the desert, and carried two yogurts as I sifted through my wallet to grab my card, when Hallie plunged her hand into my yogurt. We finally got out the door, the kids shoeless and a mess. I set purse in the front seat, helped Harrison and Henry into the car, and set my cup and Hallies on the roof. We looked a mess. I looked up as I began to put Hallie in her car seat, when I noticed a man was sitting in front of my car. Staring.
"You parked awfully close." I thought he was kidding.
"Excuse me?" I asked, looking at my car to make sure that I was between the lines.
"You parked very close to my car, and almost hit your door as you opened it." He said, abruptly.
"There was an SUV right beside me, sir." I said. "I did my best to park my car."
Out from no where, a seemingly homeless lady yelled,"Yes sir, there was an SUV. We saw it."
"Well," he said, "What you should have done was move your car when you noticed the SUV had moved." and I don't know what he said after that. Harrison and Henry froze. They stared. He was angry and mad, and continued on for much longer, and I attempted to defend myself.
"Her children are BAREFOOT! And it's MOTHER'S DAY." Chastised the sweet lady.
I cried. Literally. Tears would not stop. "I'm sorry, sir."
Was this a JOKE?! Seriously. A joke? I was 10 seconds from going off on the man, but with exhaustion setting in, I apologized. And he could not say a word. He walked back into the restaurant he was eating at, and sat at his table.
I got into the passenger's side of the car so as not to disrupt things on his end. I climbed over the four bags that I had since prepared earlier in the day with extra clothes, swimming gear, and Jazzercise clothes, and sat in the driver's seat.
I looked in my car door, and found an old "happy birthday" card.
"May the Lord richly bless you. 1 John 4:10." I wrote. I sealed an envelope. Instead of putting it on his car, I yelled out to another stranger. I'm obviously a crazy person.
"Hey!" No lie. He thought I was nuts. "Will you give this to the big man in the black shirt at the table in there?"....
"Sure." He responded.
And Harrison, Henry, and I prayed for him.
Since Mother's day this year, I have learned a valuable lesson. Actually, I may have been learning this since I became an adult. Life is nuts. We can't anticipate the extremities by which we will face. And all of us are busy. And we are scoffed, and situations occur that we can't control. And we can't stop all of the responsibilities that we have. There's a lot to do. Always.
Enjoy it. Make the most of it. Don't complain about it. You aren't going to get what you want. But you can become someone who influences the world for the better when you stop, reflect, and let the worst situation become the better one. Play. Forgive. Really forgive. It's not a big deal. But work hard. So that tomorrow's laundry doesn't pile up, and so that you get your work out in, and so that the days don't get easier, but so that they get more enjoyable.
It's so crazy with four kids, a full time job, and everything else. But it's always crazy. And at doctor's appointments, car rides, tantrums, cleaning, grading, arguing, giving in, I am learning in this season to embrace it all. Because it's happening, and it's a good one.
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