What if....
"Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it." Luke 17:33
I see Jesus here, echoing the voices of the past. I love that the Bible is filled with such a strong account of characters who fail so often to trust God.
I fail so often to live out it's message. But what if God's word is really true? What if I REALLY lost my life in Him? I mean...really let go?
I was looking through my prayer journal, and thinking about my requests to God. Every day, I fervently pray for my kids, my job, Jon, my friends, my family, my house...but then, I start my day and after surrendering it all, I take it all back. And for some reason, I fear that if I'm not in control of my life, that somehow, things will fall apart. And for another reason, I don't always know what it looks like in certain moments to let go. Emotions and circumstances come at me quickly. Instead of falling on my knees and seeking His will, I react. I react in what I do and in what I say. I am quick to correct my kids, or get mad at Jon. I am quick to speak in reaction to others. My real-world attitude comes caving in, and I forget what kind of God I serve. I forget about the stories I have read regarding redemption. That God saved the Israelites from Egypt. That He used a small boy and a stone to slay a giant. That Joshua won. That Abraham's prayers were answered. A prison was shaken, and Paul was released; even giving way to the guards falling before the Lord. I forget about all of the times He has been there for me. And I react without Him. As if He was made-up in my head.
What if I lived my life like He wanted me to? What if I really surrendered it all? What would it look like. I realize very fully that I am human, and I am a sinner. But this week, when the normal anxieties of life creep in, I have been asking....is it that big of a deal? And do you know what my answer always is? No. It's not that big of a deal.
Somehow, I have convinced myself to find comfort in the stresses of life. It's almost like I am uncomfortable with peace. It is easier to think about what I am doing wrong, or what others are doing wrong, or how things could be better than just resting in the fact that really, all is well. And it's well because I serve the living God.
I'm loving Moses' account in Deuteronomy right now. The laws were written in Leviticus, the travel accounts were held in Numbers, and Moses wraps up a summary of it all in Deuteronomy. He reminds his people in Deuteronomy 1:21: "The Lord, God of your ancestors told you to do this. So don't be afraid, and don't worry."
I am certain that if the people of Israel would have really listened to this advice that their travels and turmoils in the desert would not have lasted so long. They had been saved from the hand of the Pharaoh, rescued again through the Red Sea, and they had been protected and provided for so much in the desert, and constantly forgot Who they served. They doubted God. All of the time. And because of their fear, and their doubt, they struggled. I wonder what it would have been like if they REALLY fully trusted God. What could have happened? What if they surrendered their fears?
I'm not going to say I blame them. I am just like them. I hold on so often to the tangible. I want to reconcile things myself. And I take four steps back. But what if?
In Jesus' final address to His believers at Galilee, He put it all into context for me:
"6 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
That should be my biggest obstacle. My biggest obstacle should focus on the aspects of the Great Commission. My life should be surrendered to Him with the commission as my thesis.
Reading through scripture, I notice that God moves in the great characters as soon as they reconcile the need to fall on their knees. Their perspectives change, and they soon take comfort in the fact that they really CAN trust God. And I want the same for my life. I want to believe for reals that He is with me, to the very end of the age. This doesn't come without serious practice. It means that I need to take part in changing my mind.
So it's not that big of a deal...those little anxieties. The little things that pester me. And it's funny, that as even I have been writing this, I have been pestered and frustrated by my kids coming up to me and fighting over toys, food, books...I have blown up at them in anxiety over their fighting, to sit back down and write about the "what if" factor. It looks like God has a lot of work to do in me. But I will get back up again and try to surrender now.
I see Jesus here, echoing the voices of the past. I love that the Bible is filled with such a strong account of characters who fail so often to trust God.
I fail so often to live out it's message. But what if God's word is really true? What if I REALLY lost my life in Him? I mean...really let go?
I was looking through my prayer journal, and thinking about my requests to God. Every day, I fervently pray for my kids, my job, Jon, my friends, my family, my house...but then, I start my day and after surrendering it all, I take it all back. And for some reason, I fear that if I'm not in control of my life, that somehow, things will fall apart. And for another reason, I don't always know what it looks like in certain moments to let go. Emotions and circumstances come at me quickly. Instead of falling on my knees and seeking His will, I react. I react in what I do and in what I say. I am quick to correct my kids, or get mad at Jon. I am quick to speak in reaction to others. My real-world attitude comes caving in, and I forget what kind of God I serve. I forget about the stories I have read regarding redemption. That God saved the Israelites from Egypt. That He used a small boy and a stone to slay a giant. That Joshua won. That Abraham's prayers were answered. A prison was shaken, and Paul was released; even giving way to the guards falling before the Lord. I forget about all of the times He has been there for me. And I react without Him. As if He was made-up in my head.
What if I lived my life like He wanted me to? What if I really surrendered it all? What would it look like. I realize very fully that I am human, and I am a sinner. But this week, when the normal anxieties of life creep in, I have been asking....is it that big of a deal? And do you know what my answer always is? No. It's not that big of a deal.
Somehow, I have convinced myself to find comfort in the stresses of life. It's almost like I am uncomfortable with peace. It is easier to think about what I am doing wrong, or what others are doing wrong, or how things could be better than just resting in the fact that really, all is well. And it's well because I serve the living God.
I'm loving Moses' account in Deuteronomy right now. The laws were written in Leviticus, the travel accounts were held in Numbers, and Moses wraps up a summary of it all in Deuteronomy. He reminds his people in Deuteronomy 1:21: "The Lord, God of your ancestors told you to do this. So don't be afraid, and don't worry."
I am certain that if the people of Israel would have really listened to this advice that their travels and turmoils in the desert would not have lasted so long. They had been saved from the hand of the Pharaoh, rescued again through the Red Sea, and they had been protected and provided for so much in the desert, and constantly forgot Who they served. They doubted God. All of the time. And because of their fear, and their doubt, they struggled. I wonder what it would have been like if they REALLY fully trusted God. What could have happened? What if they surrendered their fears?
I'm not going to say I blame them. I am just like them. I hold on so often to the tangible. I want to reconcile things myself. And I take four steps back. But what if?
In Jesus' final address to His believers at Galilee, He put it all into context for me:
"6 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:16-20
That should be my biggest obstacle. My biggest obstacle should focus on the aspects of the Great Commission. My life should be surrendered to Him with the commission as my thesis.
Reading through scripture, I notice that God moves in the great characters as soon as they reconcile the need to fall on their knees. Their perspectives change, and they soon take comfort in the fact that they really CAN trust God. And I want the same for my life. I want to believe for reals that He is with me, to the very end of the age. This doesn't come without serious practice. It means that I need to take part in changing my mind.
Romans 12:2
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.So it's not that big of a deal...those little anxieties. The little things that pester me. And it's funny, that as even I have been writing this, I have been pestered and frustrated by my kids coming up to me and fighting over toys, food, books...I have blown up at them in anxiety over their fighting, to sit back down and write about the "what if" factor. It looks like God has a lot of work to do in me. But I will get back up again and try to surrender now.
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